Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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