It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
