Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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