We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
