saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
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