Can i not drive my cunt home
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I need to calm my uterus...
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize