i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
The air taste purple.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
