i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
