You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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