Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
