took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize