HIV tests are more positive than that guy
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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