so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
