i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize
