I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
