I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
