D3 body, D1 cock
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
