oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Randomize
