so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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