her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Randomize
