What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
