Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
