yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Randomize
