Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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