Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
