Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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