I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
