haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I'm going to jail i love you
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
