i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
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