Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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