but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Cover your peen. We're going out.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize