the condom got lost in my hair
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
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