i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Rumble strips road head = magical
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
