His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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