Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
