So drunk its hurt
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Randomize
