She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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