you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
