plz talk dirty to me
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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