i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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