Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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