we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
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