But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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