Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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