it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
