You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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