Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
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