Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
