Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
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