is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize