I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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