two words: eviction party
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
