I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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