And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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