There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
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