just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
