he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
