you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
