It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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