the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
