It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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